So Pierre Pettigrew seems to be satisfied with his hair the way it is, and has moved on to other things:

Foreign Affairs Minister Pierre Pettigrew said Thursday Ottawa will continue pressing Iran for justice in the wake of shocking new details about the condition of a Montreal photographer days before her death in a jail in that country.

Earlier Thursday, Sharham Azam, a former doctor with the Iranian Minister of Defence, detailed the injuries suffered by 54-year-old Zahra Kazemi just days before her death in June, 2003.

He said catalogued countless injuries on the woman, who arrived at the hospital unconscious. He said the broken bones, bruising and marks suggested she had been beaten, tortured and raped, with the wounds suggested the assaults had taken place over a period of time.

"We believe the Iranian justice system has failed all across the line," Mr. Pettigrew said.

The 54-year-old photojournalist died on July 10, 2003 in Tehran. An Iranian-born photographer who also had Canadian citizenship, she was beaten to death after being arrested for taking photos of protesters outside a Tehran prison.

Bravo, Mr. Pettigrew. But may I ask, what the hell took you so long? It was monhs ago when the Iranian ambassador to the UK made the admission that Kazemi was murdered (as opposed to killed accidentaly, which is what the Iranian kangaroo court had ruled last summer), and the Canadian Foreign Affairs Office has done very little about it. I guess they figure "Hey, she'll still be dead after the US reopens the border to our beef. Priorities, people!"

"As a doctor I could see this was torture," Dr. Azam, who fled Iran and has been granted landed immigrant status in Canada, told reporters.

He said Ms. Kazemi was battered from head to foot, with markings consistent with flogging on a number of areas of her body.

Her nose had been broken so badly that a nurse was unable to insert a tube when the unconscious woman was brought in. A vaginal exam carried out by a nurse - doctors in military hospitals in Iran are not allowed to carry out the procedure - showed massive bruising in the genital area, offering evidence of a brutal rape.

"It was the first time I saw a patient brought in from a prison," Dr. Azam said. "It was so shocking for me."

Last July, Canada withdrew its ambassador to Iran over Ottawa's frustration with the Iranian justice system's handling of the case. A new ambassador - Gordon Venner - was appointed in November.

And now they're thinking about removing that one. Iran must have a revolving door for Canadian diplomats. But somehow I don't think removing the ambassador is quite te show of strength that will be required to have this case reopened. Maybe Canada will have to do what it seems loath to do these days - side with the US in pressuring Iran regarding nukes. Yes, I said side with the ol' US of A. We may even end up having to don our outdated battle gear and rent a plane for our six remaining pieces of military equipment, but hey - them's the breaks. I just don't think removing a completely useless official is going to frighten Iran into prosecuting Zahra Kazemi's attackers.

Terri Schiavo died this morning, probably right around the time I wrote my last entry.

Bless her, I hope what they did was right.

Twelve days. I can't go twelve minutes without refilling my glass. I have a four-litre-a-day habit, and I would hate to be forced to give it up. I would fight it every step of the way. Fortunately, I can fight it. I can stand, walk, talk, scream, yell, and swear like a sailor. And I can pour myself another glass. If I had to go twelve days without it, I wouldn't want to live.

Water.

I thought about it last night, when I woke up thirsty, and took a sip from the glass on my nightstand. I thought about it this morning while I was in the shower, feeling it on my skin. And at work, refilling my 1.5 litre bottle from the cooler. How spoiled I am!

I thought about it on the subway, when I saw the picture of a man being arrested in Florida for trying to provide water to someone whose thirst will kill her - slowly, painfully, irritatingly. Arrested. For providing water. Like it's cocaine or something else illegal. Some skinny bitch in a diet book is telling me to drink 6-8 glasses a day, while a greedy, heartless man in Florida is saying that his wife will thirst until dead.

Fine. She's going to die. He's been given license to kill, all wrapped up in a neat little bow from the Supreme Court. So let him be a man about it, walk into that hospice with a glass of water and a plastic bag, and end her suffering. All of it. Starting with the thirst. He has permission to murder her. Let him give her that last drink of water so that her final memory is of relief, and then let him put the bag over her head. It's a hell of a lot kinder than what he's doing now.

I need to refill my bottle now. My thirst has been unquenchable these past twelve days. Go figure.

I was running a google search on chihuahuas, and I found this. I would be evil not to share it with you.



I found it here.

The liberals are offended by God for one reason: they don't want to be told that what they're doing is wrong. They want to be able to do whatever they want to. "Thous shalt not" is in direct conflict with "If it feels good, do it".

Check out the whole post over at Exile From Hillary's Village.

Enjoy your chocolates, friends.

I think I've mentioned it before, but my best friend (and her husband) is a journalist. I have known her since I was twelve, and we have been to hell and back together - nothing will change that. But we definitely do not agree on our political views. We never have. When we were younger, I was liberal, and she was more analytical and conservative. As we grew older, and she enrolled in the Concordia School of Journalism (a commie breeding ground), her outlook changed. Mine did, too, but for different reasons. I had lost my parents, and frittered away the money they left me. I was a walking, talking Adscam with that money, and although I refuse to regret anything that I learned from, boy that cash would come in handy today. So once it was gone, and I was left to my own devices, I began to think differently. I began to realize that there was no one to take care of me anymore, and I was too proud to sponge, so I developed a very strong work ethic. I got back on my feet, sorted out my life, and I'm quite content to be your Girl on the Right. She, on the other hand, has been in and out of employment over the years, and has had to give up her journalism dream for the time being and take a mortal's job, just to pay the bills. Her husband is still a top journalist.

Anyway, the other night she and I were chatting away on the phone, talking about the usual girly things like hair color (I changed mine recently) and the Gilmore Girls (now in repeats - sad). The topic of this blog came up (she's one of the few in my inner circle that knows of its existence - although she doesn't read it).

Her: I could never blog. I barely manage to reply to my emails. Besides, my life isn't that interesting.

Me: I'm surprised I've kept it up this long. I thought I would get bored after a few months, but I love it. As long as people in the world keep doing stupid things, I will always have something to write about.

Her: I don't see the point of news blogs - sorry. We have 24-hour news stations, websites, evening news, radio, and the paper. We don't need bloggers. Besides, why would I deliver the news for free? I should be getting paid for it. That's my job (well, it used to be, before she pissed off the wrong person, but that's a whole other story).

Me: I do it for free because I enjoy it. People read me, they leave me feedback, and my facts are no better or worse than those of the regular media.

And then the rant began...

Her: And Fox news - fair and balanced?? Fox makes real journalists cringe.

Me: Actually, Fox - and bloggers - make CBS cringe, and with good reason. I would hardly want to align myself with people who are afraid of the next new medium. It makes you sound like the Church at the invention of the printing press.

Things got ugly from there. We have this conversation every few months, and it's always the same. But the part that really pissed me off was "Besides, why would I deliver the news for free? I should be getting paid for it." Are these the kinds of people you want delivering your news?

Today is the day that Jeremy Hinzman finds out if he will be given - or hopefully denied - refugee status in Canada, for running scared at the thought of heading to Iraq.

From an editorial in today's Toronto Star:

I do feel for the boys. Fulfilling a contract, or keeping a promise made, is often more unpleasant or difficult than simply signing that contract or uttering that promise. And I would never want to be a soldier. That's why I never joined the army.

And while I'm sure there are other Canadians who believe the boys should be booted home, to face court-martial and perhaps a light sentence in a military prison (and possibly a book or movie deal), not many of them are members of the chattering classes.

Which brings me to another of Hinzman's concerns — that he will face "social persecution" if he is sent home. I know that one well, and it's no fun. Try being Canadian and supporting the war in Iraq.

At the hearing, it was clear it was widely assumed one supported Hinzman. "This is a complicated case," one reporter said to me. How? I wondered.

"I don't like Bush," said someone else, looking grim. What on earth does that have to do with it? This is not about George Bush.

As usual, being against the war is really about hating Bush. Look at all the bull my fellow blogger Angry in TO is going through, just trying to point out that a group the CBC was endorsing isn't just about stopping the war in Iraq - it's about "ousting" Bush. Hinzman is nothing more than a left-wing pet cause.

In 2005, Hinzman may be a lot of things — a frightened young man, a shirker, a pacifist — but one thing he is not, is a refugee.

Someone at the refugee board, speaking off the record, told me he considered hearing U.S. cases a waste of time. That was refreshing.

And a waste of money - don't forget that! The Immigration system in Canada is backed up by months and even years in some cases, leaving some of the most desperate people waiting in a limbo that is devastating, both in a financial and emotional way. But this little coward has gotten his day in court, and his 15 minutes, just because he said the one thing Canadians love to hear: President Bush was wrong to invade Iraq.

Tell that to the Iraqis.

Update: Common Sense Has Prevailed!

The Canadian government has denied refugee status to former U.S. Army paratrooper Jeremy Hinzman, a major blow to a handful of U.S. military deserters who have fled to Canada rather than fight in a war they claim commits atrocities against civilians.

Such as democracy, free will, and dozens of other similar horrible afflictions.

The ruling, written by Immigration and Refugee Board member Brian Goodman, said Hinzman had not made a convincing argument that he would face persecution or cruel and unusual punishment if sent back to the United States.

Like being denied food and hydration. That would never be done to a criminal.

During the Vietnam era, young American men could be drafted into military service, but now enlistment in U.S. military is voluntary. The military attracts many young recruits with job skills training and programs that help pay for university.

But it's right there in the ads - we'll pay for college, and you'll fight for your country. No one is misled.

Pvt. 1st Class Joshua Key, 26, of Oklahoma City is the latest war resister to flee to Toronto, arriving two weeks ago with his wife and four children. He told the Toronto Star that he served in Iraq with the 43rd Combat Engineering Company, which was deployed in April 2003.

Out, out, out. I can barely support myself and my chosen immigrant - I am not supporting you and your four freakin' kids, just because you are too much of a sissy to tdo the job you volunteered to do. Out!

The lights are up on Capitol hill. Janette at Common Sense Runs Wild is blogging nothing else until the tube goes back in. George Bush has flown back to Washington from his trip home to Texas. There is a large and vocal movement in the blogosphere, some of which can be seen here.

Last night my husband asked me whose side I was on. Do I want to see the tube in or out? Honestly, I don't know. Terry Schiavo is not terminally ill. In fact, no one really knows what's wrong with her, or how to fix it. I don't agree that a slow and painful starvation is the right way about ending her alleged suffering. If she's actually suffering. That's the problem - we don't know.

Sunny von Bulow has been in a coma since December of 1980, breathing on her own, and no one has made any moves to disconnect her feeding tubes. Why not? Because too much money is in play if she passes? Who knows? It is still undetermined if she had attempted suicide, or if her husband - the infamous Claus von Bulow - tried to kill her. Would he have come clean and told a different story if he hadn't had Alan Dershowitz to get him off the charge?

Personally, I don't think it's anybody's business but the Schiavos' and the Schindlers'. But since they can't get it straight between themselves, we are all now riveted to the news to see how it plays out.

What if it were me? Would I want to live like that? No. I already know that. I watched both my parents suffer with terminal illness, and would have done anything within the law to speed up their dying. At one point, I considered going beyond the law, when I was just 14, and would have walked away from a charge. My father talked me out of it, warning me I might not be able to live with myself if I had done what I had planned to do. Mercifully, my mother died a few days after my discussion with my father. She weighed 47lbs, had ulcers in her stomach from the amount of morphine she was taking, screamed of pain constantly until there wasn't enough air in her lungs to scream anymore. She had a layer of fuzzy black hair all over her face and arms, from the strength of the drugs she was taking. She had an unfortunate resistence to pain killers, necessitating the strongest dosages of morphine, direct into her spinal column.

But my mother had two things that Terry doesn't. My mother had an illness that was destined to kill her in a short period of time, and she had a living will that requested no extrmeme measures should be taken to keep her alive (both my parents had this). Once, she nearly heammoraged to death, and her surgeon saved her. My father reminded him that he had no right to do so, and asked him to please once again inform his staff that no such measures should be taken again.

Personally, I wouldn't want the life that Terry has right now. She's trapped in a useless body, possibly trapped in her own mind, looking out, unable to tell us what she wants. Maybe her husband means well. I know that's what I expect of Mr. Right, and we've talked about it many times, given my family's predisposition toward cancer. In a way, I feel it's selfish of the Schindlers to prolong a life that isn't being lived. Just because your lungs continue to pump air in and out doesn't mean you are living.

But this is their baby girl, their daughter. It's hard to let go, especially when they've come to terms with the condition she's in, and are perfectly willing to let it continue. But in ten or fifteen years, Mr. & Mrs. Schindler may no longer be with us, or they may be incapacitated themselves. We already know that Michael Schiavo has no real interest in her anymore. If the Schindlers aren't around anymore, and Terry is still alive, she will be alone.

And what are Michael Schiavo's motivations? Why does he have such a hard-on for pulling the tube out? This whole issue would go away if he would just drop it. She began life in the care of her parents, as we all do, and her parents are asking for the opportunity to care for her as her life ends - if it ends. Why doesn't he just back off? Her family has offered to allow him to divorce her uncontested, so he can be free to continue his new life with no obligation to Terry.

Who's side am I on? Terry's I suppose. But no one knows for sure what she wants, and I don't know for sure what I want for her. I'm not praying tonight for her to live or die. Instead, I'm praying that she is peaceful and happy, cooped up in that body of hers. I pray that if the tube stays out, she doesn't feel the twisting pain of starvation. I pray that if it goes back in, she is content with living out her life - or isn't aware of it. In all the debating of right-to-life/right-to-die, we seem to have lost sight of what really matters in this case: Terry Schiavo.

Yesterday, New York (You remember New York, right? That's the city where more than 2,500 people were killed in a moment of traditional Islamic Jihad.) hosted a Muslim prayer service in Synod House at the Cathedral of St. John the Divine, an Anglican church in Manhattan. Were the Anglicans pissed off about it? No. Were the Muslims? Well, what do you think?

They weren't upset that it was being held in a Christian house of worship - after all, Jihad means (in addition to murdering and enslaving) overrunning non-Muslim houses of worship as a way of furthering their cause. No, the anger was directed at Professor Amina Wadud, the female who led the service.

Muslim leaders in the Middle East sharply criticized a female professor who led an Islamic prayer service before a mixed congregation of men and women in New York and complained that it violated centuries of tradition.

"Women were not allowed to (have) input in the basic paradigms of what it means to be a Muslim," she said, adding that while the Quran puts men and women on equal footing, men have distorted its teachings to leave women with no role other than "as sexual partners."

Dismissing criticism by some that the event was little more than feminist rabble-rousing, Asra Q. Nomani, an author and former Wall Street Journal reporter who helped organize the prayer, said it was intended to draw attention to the inequality faced by Muslim women.

"We will no longer accept the back door or the shadows," Nomani said. "Today, we are ushering Islam into the 21st century, reclaiming the voice that the prophet gave us 1,400 years ago."

She introduced a 10-item list she dubbed as "An Islamic Bill of Rights for Women in the Mosque," which included the right to enter through the front door and to lead prayers.

For many critics, the forum was a blasphemous affront to mainstream Islam.

Particularly controversial was Wadud's periodic substitution of the Arabic word for God, Allah, with the pronouns, he, she and it, arguing that God's omnipresence defied gender definition.

"All she is doing is twisting the interpretation of Islam to suit her needs. This is blasphemy, pure and simple," said Mohammed Nussrah, a Brooklyn native whose family is Algerian. Nussrah, a member of a local Muslim group named the Islamic Thinkers, added: "If this was an Islamic state, this woman would be hanged."

Hanged. They would hang her for praying to Allah and encouraging others to do so. Because it's blasphemy. No, I don't get it, either.

"It's time for us to take our place in the mosques," said Nadwa al-Dawari, who moved to the United States from Yemen.

Yvonne Haddad, a professor of Islamic studies at Georgetown University, said Islam has become increasingly suspect in U.S. culture. But even as American Muslims search for new leadership after "the U.S. government has delegitimized the Muslim leadership in America," their efforts are unlikely to win support abroad.

"People in America think they are going to be the vanguards of change," Haddad said. "But for Arab Muslims in the Middle East, American Muslims continue to be viewed on the margins of the faith."

The sheik of Cairo's Al-Azhar mosque, the Islamic world's leading Sunni Muslim institution, said Islam permits women to lead other women in prayer but not a congregation with men.

Other critics say Muslim women do have important roles.

"When we said women should not be imams, it's not because they are less worthy or unequal to men, but because they have different, equally important, roles in society," said Iman Husham al-Husainy of the Karbalaa Islamic Center in Dearborn, Mich.

Like breeding. Or being bought and sold, or raped as payment on a debt owed by a brother. And breeding - did I mention breeding?

It didn't take long. I lost my job last week, and was working agin by yesterday. I can't afford to waste time, and my relentless pursuit of gainful employment has paid off. For now, anyway.

I'm working in a profession I have never been in before, and had no particular thoughts about joining. It literally just fell into my lap. And for the reader who has probably unwittingly been sending lawyer-ly vibes in my direction for the past month - thanks. Interesting profession you've got here. I've truly never been on this side of the law before. But I'll try anything once.

So there you have it: RightGirl, Legal Assistant Par Excellence. And April's rent will be paid.

It's been four years since I've seen a Montreal St. Patrick's Day parade. It is not only the largest one in North America, but one of the largest in the world. Despite the enormity of the Irish community in Glasgow, there was no celebration.

So, if anybody's looking for me this weekend (either to say hi or to assassinate me), I will be somewhere on St. Catherine Street (probably near a liquor store), watching the floats go by and getting drunk.

Have a great weekend.

RG

I tuned in to a few minutes here and there of the memorial service for the dead Mounties in Edmonton. Global had a nauseating amount of coverage yesterday, even doing their National News show direct form the Butter Dome, where the detritus was being cleared away. Canadian flags have flown half-mast for the past week (after we'd only just put them back up again after the tsunami).

I'm sure these four members of the RCMP had done a lot of good things in their careers. I'm sure they were loved and will be missed in their communities.

But somebody needs to turn off the shmaltzy Oprah-esque music, and remember that these boys didn't have to die. They died because they f**ked up. It was a stupid mistake that made them heroes for all eternity. Look at the facts: The man they were sent to bust (not as a group of four, but as two sets of two) was a dangerous cop-hater with acres and acres to hide in. They didn't secure him and his whereabouts. They didn't know if he was alone. Two Mounties go off the radar, you'd think that a sizeable SWAT team would be called out to investigate. No. Instead, two more mounties are sent to the slaughter.

This country doesn't yet know where the blame will be laid; either at the feet of the boys themselves, or at the feet of their commander. But even if it was a command decision, those boys had the right to argue with the call. It was their lives on the line, and like lemmings they either did what they were told, or thought the foolish plan up themselves. They commited suicide.

In a way, it's a reflection on our whole country. If you are stupid and irresponsible in protecting the populace of Canada, you will be made a hero. Just like our Prime Minister.

None of this is to say I don't feel bad for the families of the dead officers. They've lost sons, husbands, fathers. No matter who they were, or what the circumstances were surrounding their deaths, it will be hard for these families to move on. I'm just thinking that maybe, under those circumstances, that their grief should have been a bit more private. We celebrate too many mistakes already. Let these families greive behind closed doors, so that people like me can't point out that their boys could still be alive today if they were a bit better at doing what they were sworn to do.

Redundant, actually.

My last day of work was last Monday. My current duties include desperately trying to find a job before the money runs out. Mr. Right, mercifully, just received his work permit, so now he can hunt right along with me. So no, I haven't given up on the blog. In fact, I have more time than ever to work on it. I'm just a little... frantic these days.

So bear with me while I post short, amusing or inconsequential bits for the next few days while I wrap my head round our current circumstances. Once I have made peace with being unemployed (or better yet - find a job!) I will be able to focus on the blog.

In the meantime, feel free to click an ad or buy a t-shirt. Just sayin'.

Liberals go to yoga classes to practice getting bent out of shape.

Mr. Right

Jim at Right Thinking has a post that will make you think about anti-Americanism and where it comes from. As we all know, Hollywood is notoriously left in its thinking, but it hasn't always been so. And what Hollywood does, everyone else emulates. Today it's hatred of their own country and President. Tomorrow it might be something else.

Jim takes a moment to compare yesteryear to the present.

"This is a racist and imperialist war. The warmongers who stole the White House (you call them "hawks", but I would never disparage such a fine bird) have hijacked a nation's grief and turned it into a perpetual war on any non-white country they choose to describe as terrorist." - Woody Harrelson

"The war against terrorism is terrorism. The whole thing is just bullsh*t." - Woody Harrelson

Compare this to the stars of yesteryear:

Audie Murphy, little 5′5″ tall 110 pound guy from Texas who played cowboy parts?

Most Decorated serviceman of WWII and earned: Medal of Honor, Distinguished Service Cross, 2 Silver Star Medals, Legion of Merit, 2 Bronze Star Medals with "V", 2 Purple Hearts, U.S. Army Outstanding Civilian Service Medal, Good Conduct Medal, 2 Distinguished Unit Emblems, American Campaign Medal, European-African-Middle Eastern Campaign Medal with One Silver Star, Four Bronze Service Stars (representing nine campaigns) and one Bronze Arrowhead (representing assault landing at Sicily and Southern France) World War II Victory Medal Army of Occupation Medal with Germany Clasp, Armed Forces Reserve Medal, Combat Infantry Badge, Marksman Badge with Rifle Bar, Expert Badge with Bayonet Bar, French Fourragere in Colors of the Croix de Guerre, French Legion of Honor, Grade of Chevalier, French Croix de Guerre With Silver Star, French Croix de Guerre with Palm, Medal of Liberated France, Belgian Croix de Guerre 1940 Palm.

Quite a difference between Audie Murphy and Woody Harrelson huh?

Not mentioned were Jimmy Stewart

Stewart was the first Hollywood star to enlist in the military for World War II, joining nearly a year before the attack on Pearl Harbor. He was initially refused entry into the U.S. Air Force because he weighed five pounds less than the 148-pound minimum requirement, but Stewart convinced the recruiting officer to ignore the weight requirement. Stewart's war record included 25 combat missions in Europe as a command pilot. He rose to the rank of colonel - the highest ranking actor in military history - and earned the Air Medal, the Distinguished Flying Cross, the Croix de Guerre and seven battle stars. In 1959, while serving in the Air Force Reserves, he became a brigadier general, and the Indiana County Airport in his hometown was re-named the Jimmy Stewart Airport. He retired from the Reserves in 1968.

When Stewart was first sent to Europe to fly bombing missions, his father gave him a letter in which he wrote, "Jim, I'm banking on the enclosed copy of the 91st Psalm. The thing that takes the place of fear and worry is the promise of these words. I am staking my faith in these words. I feel sure that God will lead you through this mad experience. God bless you and keep you. I love you more than I can tell you. Dad." Stewart carried the letter with him for the rest of his life, and the words from the Psalm that his father gave him are written on his grave marker: "For He shall give his angels charge over thee to keep thee in all thy ways."

Carole Lombard

The storybook ended on the night of January 16, 1942 when a plane carrying Carole Lombard crashed into Table Rock Mountain outside Las Vegas. Carole, her mother, and an MGM publicist named Otto Winkler were killed, along with fifteen soldiers and flyers who were reporting for duty. Lombard was only thirty-three. At the time, she was returning from a tour selling war bonds. She had raised over two million dollars, then a record for an individual effort.[emphasis mine - RG]

Alec Guinness (Star Wars) operated a British Royal Navy landing craft on D-Day.

Donald Pleasance (The Great Escape) really was an R. A. F. pilot who was shot down, held prisoner and tortured by the Germans.

Charlton Heston was an Army Air Corps Sergeant in Kodiak. They would have had to pry his gun out of his cold, dead hands...

Back then, there were morality clauses and such in star's studio contracts for a reason. Young people looked up to them, and wanted to emulate them. That still happens, but without the benefit of them doing anything moral or worthwhile. In fact, morality is a dirty word in Hollywood.

Maybe it's time we found new idols. I choose Condi & Bush. How bout you?

The Adam Smith Institute has an excellent short post on Britain's decision to increase the minimum wage from £4.85 to £5.35 over the next year, and what this will mean for smaller employers.

But the worries will start when things get tight. As President Carter's peanut-farming brother Billy put it: 'Hell, some people ain't worth the minimum wage!' And when things are bad, employers will shed those they regard as the most marginal workers first - unskilled people, youngsters, women, those with disabilities, and so on. According to an ASI report at the time, in the six months before the US introduced a minimum wage in 1990, 802,000 jobs were created. In the six months after, 350,000 jobs were lost.

It's been a long time since I was in a minimum wage situation (thank God for that!). The jobs I was doing were menial crap, and really didn't deserve the $7.35/hr I was getting. Stocking shelves, standing behind a cash register, pumping gas. Waitresses don't even make minimum wage, which is why waiting jobs are always available. I think that keeping the wage low gives people incentive to try harder, and aim higher. I didn't want to work in a gas station all my life! I wanted a nice cushy job that paid me $50k/yr. I'm almost there. I haven't given up, and I haven't settled. And I know that once I reach my $50k, I will start looking at the next level. But I remember friends of mine getting all excited when the minimum wage would be increased by a nickel or a dime. I could never share that excitement. It wasn't the life I wanted.

Take a walk with me. Let's go back to 1981**, when I was a wee sprite of five.

I was watching my Saturday morning cartoons, and on came a Looney Tunes PSA about the presidency. Petunia Pig wanted to be President, and Porky was making fun of her. He told her that a girl couldn't be President. She proved him wrong, by hauling out the Constitution or some such, where it states that any American could be President. It didn't make a distinction based on sex.

I turned to my father, and I said "Daddy, that's what I want. I'm going to be President. A girl can be President."

"But baby, it's for Americans only."

"Yup. Boys or girls."

"But you have to be an American."

"I know," I said with my toothless grin.

"You're not an American."

"Why not? You are."

"No honey, I'm not. We're Canadian."

"Yeah, so I can be President."

That was the fateful day that I learned that we weren't all one big happy family of a country. It took quite a while for my very patient father to explain to me that although we seemed to be just like the people on TV, they were from a different country. That kindly old man who had just become President, he was what was called an American, and we were Canadians. I admit, it didn't make much sense then, and it doesn't make much sense now.

My daddy told me that Canada and America (or the United States, as they were also called) were good friends, and worked very closely to protect each other. They worked and played together. But I couldn't be President. I accepted his explanation at long last, and was relieved that we could all be friends (such things are important when you're five).

And they're important now. I accept the whole "can't be president" thing (even though it still pisses me off a little), but I can't accept the shift that has taken us from being best buddies to staunch enemies. The whole world has turned upside down since 9/11 - even the cows have gone crazy. How many more petty battles can we wage before this family splits up for good?

No kid wants to see their family split up. Thankfully the current President is a firm supporter of marriage, and bonds that cannot be broken. He will do all he can to keep us together. But on the Canadian side, more work needs to be done. It's like Canada has gone off and had an affair with a cheap floozie, and they're taunting the US with it. Canada wants to end the relationship.

But what about us kids? Maybe if I were President...

**The year is a fluid construct. I was too young to be specific. Five is a cute age for kids, and that's why I picked it.

I just spent over an hour writing an email to a reader, only to find out that my webmail logs out after one hour. So Zumkopf, I hope you got it.

He had directed me to a rather heated discussion over at Andrew Coyne's site, over the hot button topic of BMD. Sometimes it was boring. Sometimes it was ugly. Mostly, I felt sad. I told him how hard it was to read the anti-American vitriol that my fellow Canadians come out with, out of sheer jealousy at never being able to keep up with the Joneses.

He asked me if he had said something particularily offensive toward Canadians, and that was why they were using words like "rabid racist", "deluded", and accusing him of leaving spittle on his monitor (whatever the hell that's supposed to mean). He asked me if Canadian liberals were thin-skinned. I replied that leftists are thin-skinned by their very nature. A screaming Canadian liberal is no different from the shrill screechings of Hillary Clinton.

But what I don't understand is why. Why do we hate them so much? Because they are powerful and successful? That's rather petty of us. Most people want to be successful, and many crave power. All nations wish some form of power, either economic or military. America has it all, and it just rips our knitting to think that it's so close that we can see it, but so far away that we can't have some of it for our own.

If Canada as a country were still allowed to believe in God, they would remember the commandment about coveting thy neighbor's ox. At this point, our neighbor won't even buy an ox from us.

Haven't we all had that one obnoxious friend that we couldn't take anywhere, because they offended the host or the guest of honor? Canadians see the U.S. as that friend, and Americans see us that way. Who's right? And does it matter?

America has balls. America is fine and strong, virile, unafraid. They drive a Harley and carry a gun. It's a huge turn-on to this Girl on the Right. Because at the end of the day, as nice as they might be, a country with no balls is limp and useless. Thanks, Liberal Party, for neutering my country.

My Cafepress order finally arrived. I now have a cute hooded jacket with the "Conservative Girls Are Hot" logo on the back, and a tank top with the same logo across the boobal area.

Am I happy with Cafepress? Well, mostly. Their items are high quality, and made in the U.S.A. To buy them is cheap. To receive them... is another matter. I paid $19US for shipping to Canada, only to find out they had marked the items "merchandise" instead of "gift", so I was nailed with $23CDN worth of customs duty. Ouch. However, if I had requested that they mark the shipment "gift" at the time of placing the order, they would have.

Anyway, I'm really happy with the goods, and my hoody is warm and fuzzy - great for the gym. I will probably order again, but maybe only a couple of times a year, given the expense. It will be a treat.

If you want to treat yourselves to Girl on the Right goodies, go here. For boys, there is an amusing Jeremy Hinzman t-shirt you might appreciate.

Western farmers are mad as hell, because the U.S. has decided to keep the border closed to our anti-ballistic-missile beef just a little while longer.

That's right: Any country who refuses to defend itself and its neighbor must be mad, from the PM down to the cows. So stay the hell out, and don't expect us to return your calls.

A federal judge Wednesday blocked the reopening of the U.S. border to cattle and expanded beef imports from Canada because of mad-cow fears.

The U.S. Department of Agriculture had planned to reopen the border on Monday. But after a U.S. livestock group objected, U.S. District Judge Richard Cebull granted a temporary order preventing the action.

R-CALF United Stockgrowers of America, based in Billings, had argued that the USDA plan would pose a risk to both consumers and U.S. cattle producers. The organization asked the judge to block the reopening until its lawsuit is heard.

The group's attorney, Cliff Edwards, told the judge that it would be "insane" to allow the import of cattle from a country that has already reported two new cases of mad cow disease this year.

"This boils down to plain old common sense," he said.

As I read the paper this morning, I thought to myself: What's the worst thing the U.S. could do to prove its point, other than to let us get blown to bits in the event of attack? Well, they could change their minds (a la Dithers) about the beef...

Sure enough, they have. Too bad it affects our most conservative province - Alberta. I do feel bad for them. But for Canada as a whole, led by Paul Martin, c'mon people: how did you not see this coming?

Not that the anti-war, anti-defence people will care - they're all vegan. But for the rest of us, it's no real surprise.

It's all over the news how George Bush (who I am liking more and more as the days go by) hasn't returned Paul Martin's phonecall. Can I just suggest, Paul, as a girl who has spent more than my fair share of time waiting for some guy to call:

He's just not that into you.

You have proven yourself to be a small fry. You are insignificant. You don't matter.

Now go look yourself in the mirror, and ask yourself why.

Former Canada Post head Andre Ouellet was the big winner in the annual Teddies waste awards handed out by the Canadian Taxpayers Federation Tuesday.

Mr. Ouellet was presented with a golden pig and a lifetime achievement award for "betraying the trust of Canadians with shady backroom deals, partisan dealmaking and for riding the government gravy train," by John Williamson, the CTF federal director, in a statement.

The one that got my attention, though, was Lucie McClung, of Corrections Canada. She received a Teddy for her "spa days" and other ill-conceived spending ideas.

Lucie McClung, head of the Canadian prison system, won the federal award for collecting $142,000 in travel expenses between 2001 and 2003 while, in Williamson's words "felons are running Canada's prison system."

From last summer:

Word of an August 21st spa day offered to all inmates at the Grand Valley Institution for Women in Kitchener, Ontario was leaked by one of the prison staff last weekend.

Citing an anonymous source, a report published in Saturday's National Post suggested the prison's inmates had indulged in a "luxurious spa day" during which they "had their colours done" before sipping tea from fine china and listening to a harpist's serenade.

Something tells me that Mrs. McClung wasn't as gracious accepting her Teddy as Halle Berry was about accepting her Razzie.