Take a walk with me. Let's go back to 1981**, when I was a wee sprite of five.

I was watching my Saturday morning cartoons, and on came a Looney Tunes PSA about the presidency. Petunia Pig wanted to be President, and Porky was making fun of her. He told her that a girl couldn't be President. She proved him wrong, by hauling out the Constitution or some such, where it states that any American could be President. It didn't make a distinction based on sex.

I turned to my father, and I said "Daddy, that's what I want. I'm going to be President. A girl can be President."

"But baby, it's for Americans only."

"Yup. Boys or girls."

"But you have to be an American."

"I know," I said with my toothless grin.

"You're not an American."

"Why not? You are."

"No honey, I'm not. We're Canadian."

"Yeah, so I can be President."

That was the fateful day that I learned that we weren't all one big happy family of a country. It took quite a while for my very patient father to explain to me that although we seemed to be just like the people on TV, they were from a different country. That kindly old man who had just become President, he was what was called an American, and we were Canadians. I admit, it didn't make much sense then, and it doesn't make much sense now.

My daddy told me that Canada and America (or the United States, as they were also called) were good friends, and worked very closely to protect each other. They worked and played together. But I couldn't be President. I accepted his explanation at long last, and was relieved that we could all be friends (such things are important when you're five).

And they're important now. I accept the whole "can't be president" thing (even though it still pisses me off a little), but I can't accept the shift that has taken us from being best buddies to staunch enemies. The whole world has turned upside down since 9/11 - even the cows have gone crazy. How many more petty battles can we wage before this family splits up for good?

No kid wants to see their family split up. Thankfully the current President is a firm supporter of marriage, and bonds that cannot be broken. He will do all he can to keep us together. But on the Canadian side, more work needs to be done. It's like Canada has gone off and had an affair with a cheap floozie, and they're taunting the US with it. Canada wants to end the relationship.

But what about us kids? Maybe if I were President...

**The year is a fluid construct. I was too young to be specific. Five is a cute age for kids, and that's why I picked it.