I hear the ticking of the clock
I'm lying here the room's pitch dark
I wonder where you are tonight
No answer on the telephone
And the night goes by so very slow
Oh I hope that it won't end though
Alone

I finally had to get out of bed because my tossing and turning was keeping Mr. Right awake. Too late though, as I have effectively woken the whole house. Animals want fed, husband gets up to go to the bathroom... The smallest troubles in my own head have a wide ripple effect.

Last week was a strange one, and this one is shaping up to be much the same. Last week, I was rediscovered by one old friend on the same day as I officially "broke up" with another old friend. It was something I had been putting off for five years. Instead of having the balls to come right out and say to him that we were incompatable and why, I simply dodged his calls like a craven coward. But last week I finally bit the bullet and told him that we could no longer continue our twelve year friendship because we were too different now. Because I am too different now. Because no matter how hard I try, I cannot reconcile the good times we've had with his words five years ago, "They deserved it." So I sucked it up and said goodbye, thanking him for those good times. I felt better afterwards, but I hate that it took me so long to have the guts to do it. I guess the end of a relationship of any kind is hard.

The thoughts keeping me awake tonight are much in the same vein. Having the strength to walk away from something that cannot be saved. And trying to believe that the people we know and trust are capable of great evil. I've said this before when talking about the Western-Islamic divide: How we are loath to admit that there can be such evil in the hearts of men, when we as Christians are taught that there is good in everyman. Sometimes there just isn't enough.