I can't believe I haven't posted on this yet, but I have to admit I haven't been following very closely. I only remembered the other night when I found out that Binky the Clown was also running, instead of the drag queen from years past. Yes folks, this is Toronto.

So here's the deal: We have to get rid of Mayor David Miller. Not just because he is a bloody awful NDP socialist nightmare (and pal of Peggy Nash), but because if you live in High Park like I do, you've seen the sonofabitch running by in spandex. And that, my friends, is the real reason I need to be medicated. In fact, I ought to be billing his office for the prescriptions. Miller. In spandex. In our streets. In our city. I am not making this up.

Who are we going to choose?

Binky? Uh, I mean, Stephen LeDrew? I would be willing to have this man as mayor for the sole reason that I doubt he would ever wear spandex. And because he's quirky. Toronto needs quirky, even if it is from a Liberal. He has sterling experience, as former president of the Liberal Party. His website, on the other hand, leaves a lot to be desired. There is no real platform to speak of, although I believe he's against the St. Clair streetcar right of way. But if you have enough time, (which most municipal voters, myself included, do not) feel free to watch the videos on his site. I'm sure there's something worthwhile there - though he should have just put up some quick text.

Or Jane Pitfield (who would be my choice)? Pitfield (the most photogenic of the three) is currently City Councillor for East York. Her website says she kibbutzed when she was in university. In Jew-hating toronto, that might work against her, but who knows? Her campaign office is in my neighborhood, so I may take a wander down there and try to get a quote or two from the lady. So far all I really know about her is that she is to the right of Miller, but really, Che Guevera would have been to the right of Miller. Also, she voted against pay increases for herself and fellow city councillors. Obviously, she was outnumbered on that vote. Let's hope she's not outnumbered in the election.

And that leaves the worst for last. David "I love marching in the Pride Parade" Miller. Miller is campaigning on revitalization of the Waterfront (as my pal Alison would say "That old chestnut!"). Remember, this is the same mayor who should have been proud to have last year's Miss Universe Natalie Glebova, a fellow Torontonian, attend the Tastes of Thailand Festival at Nathan Phillips Square, but she wasn't permitted to dress in her Miss Universe tiara and sash, because "beauty pageants are degrading to women." However he marches in the Pride Parade, billed as a "family event," where there is plenty of cock sheathed in little more than a Prince Albert and a cockring on display. Nice. Remember, people: Spandex!

So those are your main choices, Toronto. Best of luck to you. For your information, the election is on November 13, 2006. Details can be found here. To make sure you are on the voters list, call 416-338-1111. Absence from the voters list does not prevent you from voting. You will simply have to fill out a form at your polling station. (If you are deceased, you are required to vote for the Liberal...)