They made me sick, praying in the cockpit, waiting for martyrdom. Allahu Akbar over and over, till I thought my head would explode or my stomach would empty. That monster, that myth - that's not God. Not since Ares has there been such a bloodthirsty god, wishing destruction on whoever crossed his path. Thousands of years later, though, we refer to the period of the ancient Greeks as "mythology". And so it will come to pass with Islam. The devil they call god will fail them, because not even God can have such a contradicting nature - Religion of Peace/death and destruction.

I have always been a highly strung person, quick to anger, with a foul temper (maybe I should have been a Muslim myself). But through my life, I have only ever truly hated three people - all with good reason. My friend's mother, who used to beat him and his brother. The boyfriend who raped me when I was 14. The friend who betrayed me. That's it. Three people. Until that day.

No, I shouldn't say that - it's incorrect. The understading of what we were up against did not suddenly come to me on September 11th. It took months - probably till around the time of Bali, before I truly realized the evil we faced, and the direction it came from. But once I did, the seed began to grow. Some days I wonder how I have the strength to stand, the will to smile, the ability to carry on - when the hatred inside me burns to hot and so strong. Hatred. Unlike any I have known before. Hating three people is nothing compared to loathing an entire culture, religion, way of life. I tried to stop it. I tried to center myself, bring myself back from the edge. But I can't. And now I no longer want to. If the hatred is what will keep me focused on the defeat of those who wish to destroy the life we know, then that hatred is more than necessary.

As I watched the images on the screen, the repetition of Allahu Akbar - over and over - I became angry. I wanted to cover my ears. I wanted to scream out how that is not God, it is the devil!!! But when it was over, and I had walked a few minutes in the chilly midnight air, I became glad of that repetitive praying. I hope everyone sees the film and hears the calls to Allah. I hope that it grates on their nerves, too. I hope that each person who sees and hears the film is reminded why 3000 people died. Not because of US foreign policy, not because of oil or the decadence of Brittney Spears.

Three thousand people were murdered because of Allah.

So what are we going to do about it?

Let's roll.