Beginning early next Wednesday morning, my tongue will be out of commission for 40 days (Yes, that is my tongue. The picture was taken at a party I held in 2000 entitled "Jello and Handcuffs - It's Not What You Think").

Anyway, back to my tongue. My family never observed Lent. I didn't even know the term until I was about ten or so. This is the first year I will attempt a Lenten observation. My friend M. regularly gives up Diet Coke. Some women give up chocolate, and people often set out a course of Bible study for themselves as an observance of Lent. I, RightGirl, will give up that thing which has been so near and dear to me throughout my life: I will give up swearing for 40 days. I will penalize myself for any infraction, and all proceeds (and I assure you, there will be proceeds) will go into the collection plate. This is going to be unbearably hard, because I speak as if I were raised by Teamsters.

I considered giving up blogging for 40 days, but there's no way. You might as well ask me to give up breathing.

So, in the spirit of getting it all out of my system, I am planning, for the next week, to undertake the project of writing obscenity-laced haiku and other short poetry. I will post them sporadically in the next seven days. Feel free to suggest a theme in the comments or via email.