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Monday, November 14, 2005

SymPATHETIC France

I'm Not Paranoid delivers up some excellent satire. Sadly, some of the quotes are so good, they sounded truly French.

The demonstrations were apparently touched off by the deaths of two young Muslim men who were accidentally electrocuted while hiding from police in a state power plant. Apparently, Muslim men who die in such a way, receive only 35 virgins in paradise, instead of the requisite 72 virgins given to those who die while killing Jews and other infidel swine.

"What a gyp" one overwrought demonstrator was heard to exclaim as he gently smashed the windows of a local food store and reluctantly threw in a Molotov cocktail. "How can any self respecting Muslim man settle for a measly 35 virgins? I am so angry right now I could just behead someone."

It has been speculated that the underlying cause of the riots relates to a general feeling of resentment amongst young Muslim men, most of whom have known nothing their whole lives but welfare and free housing. With nothing to do as they crawl out of bed at noon, these gentle souls have no choice but to sit on their stoops, smoke hashish and bad mouth the French all day. "This could drive even the strongest among us to despair." a prominent CBC commentator was heard to say. "They need our sympathy, not our condemnation" she sobbed, as she donned a burka in solidarity while chanting "Death to American Imperialism".

Go read the whole thing. It's a classic.

posted by RightGirl # 7:33 PM

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