I have a friend who will be heading over to Iraq in the next couple of months, and last night I sent him an email regarding an interesting anti-terror idea I had come up with. However, I warn you, this idea may make you ill. Try to remember that that's the point.

Here's the email.

***Not if you're feeling squeemish***

May I present, for your consideration, The Cockbag.

This is something I've been thinking about for several months, which proves just what a sicko I am. You know how these Wahabbi mutherfuckers believe they will receive 72 virgins upon their entry to the kingdom of allah (peace be upon him) as martyrs? Well, I read somewhere that suicide bombers and other fine upstanding members of the muslim community wear protective cups, or even tinfoil Johnny hats, just to save their prized possessions for the afterlife.

I would like to introduce The Cockbag as a means of combatting terrorism. The Cockbag is a velvet sack, with plastic lining, that military types, special forces, Iraqi police, and people such as yourself would carry with them whenever they leave their secure confines. Upon encountering terrorists, should you have the opportunity to kill them dead, their penises should be immediately removed, preferably before they are completely dead. The penises can then be placed in The Cockbag, for disposal or display at a later date. This sends a message to other potential terrorists that America and her Allies will not give terrorists the opportunity to collect on their deal with the devil (peace be upon him).

I realize that as you are reading this, your hand has involuntarily moved to protect your crotch.

I am now going to bed, thinking about the fact that you are fondling yourself while reading my email.