Well, the hangover this morning wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. In fact, my head has not been this clear in a while.

With some effort, I managed to get up at a reasonable hour. I could have made it to church. I took the dog to the vet instead. It seemed like more of a priority.

Aside from my drunken rantings last night, there was a good conversation about religion, and Christianity in particular. It seems that I am not alone in my lack of "faith".

I was born and baptized Catholic. I was raised secular. I married a "nothing" in a civil ceremony. Over the years my thoughts have wandered back to church, as have I from time to time. My evangelical cousins-in-law have been trying to convert me since the day we met. And my uncle, in Alcoholics Anonymous, has never not ruined a perfectly good conversation by bringing up the "higher power."

Some time at the beginning of this year, I made an effort to go back to church. I took no communion, for I had not be trained in the ways of the Catholic Church, and didn't want to step on the toes of any rituals. You see, I happen to think that the Church is important, and fulfills a need for many. I do not take its ceremonies lightly. However, they leave me cold. I feel nothing. So I gave in to my cousin's suggestion, and headed to an evangelical service. Oh my. I think not. And I've tried synagogue, too. Nope. Too long. I have a short attention span.

Do I believe in God? I suppose. Do I believe in ritual? Yeah. Can I connect the two within my own soul? Not a chance. I just can't buy into a church. I can't buy into the idea that an evangelical is different from a Baptist is different from an Anglican is different from a Mormon. All Christians. And on a basic spiritual level, I cannot make myself believe that a Muslim is any different from a Jew.

Do I care what form of Jesus you worship, and how? Actually, I don't give a flying fuck. That's your business, and if you have found something that gives you peace and hope, congratulations. I'll never try to take that from you, unless of course your God instructs you to kill me. Then I'll take you out. I am, as a baptized Catholic, fully on the side of my Church in almost every decision she makes. However, I never found God within her doors. But I know people who have. And I will defend her for their sakes.

There will come a day when God and I will have an exchange of some sort. But frankly, that's not your business. For now, He's yours. I am not trying to take Him from you. So if I want to tell Him to go fuck Himself, that's really nobody's business but mine and His. I believe that He hears me. And I believe that He can bloody well defend Himself. He doesn't need your weak, empty, kiss-ass words. Your words that are a verbal way of tossing salt over your left shoulder. Your superstition. When all's said and done, even the best of friends have spats. If you don't think that God is strong enough to withstand my anger, or RTG's anger, or my questioning of His methods, then I have to ask you: What kind of a pussy diety are you wasting your time on?