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Tuesday, September 27, 2005Decade in a Nutshell
I was just emailing the American Princess, talking about my dad's death 10 years ago, and this roundup came out: |
Today is my dad's 10th deathaversary. That was kinda on my mind today. I've been officially on my own for a decade. It feels weird. Time is flying. Friends tease me that normal people have "things to do now" and "things to do later" but I only have "things to do all at once." I try to cram everything into such a short span of time, then I burn out completely. I promise everything to everyone, never say no, try to see and do everything, travel. Love and hate with the same burning intensity. Sometimes the same people! At the same time! I've lived on two continents, and two sides of this country. I've been in love two and three quarter times. I've been rich. I've been homeless. I've been a virgin (sort of) and a whore. All within a decade. I learned to lie, very well in fact. Especially to myself. I've chosen to never regret anything. I have been selfish, and I have given everything I had. I've wanted a baby so bad that I came to loathe children. My biological clock rang out one January morning in 2000. I got married! All within a decade. I saved a life, and I was saved. I preferred the saving to the getting saved. I had a one-night-stand that lasted 14 months. I've had 15 jobs and 12 addresses. I've had four cars (including a 1972 Stingray), and two accidents - one serious. I broke someone's heart, and I had mine broken. I fell off a horse. I've seen Ray Charles in concert. All since I was 19. I have lived my most interesting life in the past 10 years, and I still sometimes catch myself saying "Wait till I tell Dad." I did it yesterday when I read your post about the passing of Don Adams. Silly, huh? As I grow older I see that not having parents becomes the norm. I'm still not quite at that age yet, but it isn't far away. And no matter how close to it I get, I think I will always have moments when I think "Wait till I tell Dad." Ol'bastard probably knows it, too. I'm going to go pour myself a glass of Crown Royal now. Love you, Daddy.
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