I get a lot of flack for not wanting children. Mostly from my in-laws, but what can you do. I just don't like them. I'm not even one of those people who say "I like other peoples children, because I can give them back." Nope, I don't want 'em around at all. I have a child no-go zone which is my home, and if you wish to visit for my parties and dinners, you had better get a sitter, because junior just isn't welcome. I feel though, that I should clarify. I am also an advocate when it comes to the protection of children. No child should come to harm at the hands of its parents or anyone else. If you're going to have babies, you'd better be looking out for them, because I'll be first in line to crucify you if you aren't.

Anyway, that said, do us a favor and keep 'em locked up till they're old enough to behave in public. I was not allowed to accompany my parents to "proper" restuarants until I was 10. Dad's rules. He felt that if he was paying for a nice meal, then the guy sitting at the table next to him was doing the same thing, and wouldn't want to be disturbed by me. So it was McDonald's and the like for me till I was mature enough to appreciate a grown up dining experience.

By the time I was fifteen, Dad had taught me to tip the hostess or maitre d' and request not to have any children seated near me. I still do this today. A few dollars go a long way to ensuring a peaceful meal.

I saw this post over at Proud to be Canadian. In it, Joel quotes a piece in the Winnipeg Sun about Joey Tomato's discouraging people from bringing their brats to irritate other diners.

While Joey Tomato's does not bar babies or toddlers from entering, most locations no longer provide high chairs or booster seats in an attempt to quietly discourage parents from bringing very young children.

"We're trying to offer that premium experience with casual dining prices," says Jennifer Engele, Joey Tomato's marketing director.

Part of that premium experience is a more serene, adult atmosphere, without dozens of highly energetic and vocal diners to spoil the mood.

"We just renovated the Kelowna location this past summer and, when we re-opened, we didn't have any high chairs or booster seats," explains Engele.

We live in the "cult of the child", with a Baby Gap on every corner, and somebody blocking the sidewalk with a carriage no matter what time of the day or part of town you're in. I have seen frustrated wait staff in our local lounge/cafe struggle to accommodate pushy parents and their precious cargo at happy hour. WTF? And although the drinking age in Ontario is 19, I often see kids in pubs and bars with their parents. Aside from the fact that it is hardly the proper environment for children, what on earth are they doing infiltrating an adult only area? This was a major issue in the UK as well, when parents (usually very young mothers) would take prams into smoky pubs and get sloshed with the father of their next bastard, but that's a subject for a whole different post! It has basically gotten to the point where if you want to enjoy a steak and a beer without screaming kids in the background, you have to go to a strip club to do it.

From Joel:

Some parents are absolutely livid about the policy and have accused Joey Tomato's of discriminating against children.

My only qualm is that Joey Tomato's doesn't go one step further and ban babies and toddlers entirely. In fact, more restaurants should consider offering baby-free locations.

There are more than enough eateries that cater to families with young children.

What about all the hungry patrons out there who don't particularly like kids?

What about business execs who want somewhere quiet to go when conducting lunch or dinner meetings?

More importantly, what about the many loving parents who need to love their kids from afar once in a while?

Talk to any couple with kids and they'll tell you that the last thing they want, after arranging and paying for a babysitter, is to be seated at a table next to screaming kids. Might as well stay home.

Sure, fine-dining restaurants are always an option. But most people can't afford to eat in such establishments on a regular basis.

So Joel, meet you at the Brass Rail for lunch?